Hats Off To Darrel

There are many interesting ways to contribute to the Gathering. One of the most interesting recent contributions came from Darrel Bybee. Darrel became involved with the Gathering through his church, Our Lords United Methodist Church. Through Our Lord’s, Darrel has volunteered at the Gathering’s meal programs at least fifty times in the past fifteen years. In addition to volunteering and monthly financial contributions, Darrel has also been donating countless hats to the Gathering’s guests from his vast collection. He began collecting hats in 1977 and now has over 3500 hats.  Over time, the collection has changed and grown immensely. Darrel explains that early on, a few of the hats were “road kills”—hats that were literally found on the side of the road. In the past thirty five years, Darrel has purchased only four or five hats at rummage sales. The vast majority of Darrel’s hats have been given to him.

With such a beautiful collection, why would he give it away?

“The collection has gotten so big I can no longer display all of them. What a better way to display them then by giving them to the Gathering’s guests and have them wear and display the hats?”

Darrel has already donated over 500 hats to the Gathering’s guests and will continue to donate. He explains, “I have really had a ball with the collection and am so glad it can bring happiness to others now.”

The hats have indeed brought happiness to the Gathering’s guests and Darrel is proud to be able to provide this gift. Sharing his hat collection is about more than just keeping heads warm—it is about acknowledging the individuality of The Gathering’s guests and sharing his love. As Darrel puts it,  “Every hat has a unique story and now the story just keeps going.”

A Farewell Letter from MITZI AND BILL ROY

Mitzi & Bill Roy were leadership volunteers with the Gathering for 16 years. They recently moved to northern Wisconsin to be nearer their children and grandchildren. Here is Mitzi’s farewell letter.

Bill and Mitzi at the Gathering's 2012 volunteer event

While Bill and I had volunteered with the Christ Church (Whitefish Bay) groups that went down to the Gathering many times since the Gathering began in 1982, I had not become more deeply involved until 1996 when I had lunch with Michelle Mooney (then Executive Director), after retiring from my Financial Planning practice. She suggested that I might enjoy Coordinating on Saturdays at the Gathering. I was quickly “hooked” and corralled Bill to come along with me. We enjoyed working with the different volunteer groups and found the resilience of the guests inspiring.We coordinated at the Southside site for 16 years.

In 2008 George Neureuther asked us if we would be willing to coordinate at the St. James breakfast program so he could have a day off. While this was a very different experience from the lunch program at the Southside site, we found we enjoyed that immensely as well. Moses, Cary and the guests are all very special and it was a privilege to work with them.

Finally we ventured into the Gathering’s new program with Community Advocates (Shelter Meal Program) and cooked one afternoon a week with Twyla and Kim (and later Kirk) for a little over a year. While it was an entirely different experience, we learned so much and enjoyed working with them so much that we looked forward to our afternoon with them each week.

I also served on the Board of Directors for 9 years. The Gathering Board is an amazing group of people and probably the best Board I ever worked with.

I think what we will miss most about the Gathering is the guests. They are a constant reminder of how way too many people in the world live, and their ability to persevere in the face of so many obstacles is truly inspirational. I feel that the Gathering’s work says that no one is disposable and treats all the guests accordingly.

As we look for new challenges and opportunities in Hudson, WI, we will be looking for something that will bring us as much joy and affirmation as our years with the Gathering have, and give thanks for all the opportunities the Gathering has given us to live out our ministry for the last 16 years.

Mark Heffron and His Photography

I first met Mark in an Alterra coffee shop. The table I chose to sit at was far from the windows. Mark politely asked if we could relocate to a sunnier side of the coffee shop. After we relocated, Mark told me that he is “solar powered,” he draws his energy from sunlight, and light is very important to him. As I looked through some of his work, I could tell why: Mark is a talented photographer who places high importance on patterns of light and shadow. He has shared this light and talent with the Gathering in a number of ways over the past few years.

Mark has been involved in story-telling with the Gathering, offering his gifts and also volunteering with the Gathering’s breakfast program through his church, St. Mark’s Episcopal. Many of the beautiful photographs on our website and annual report were only possible because he volunteered his professional talents.

Mark told me, “You have to have a connection with your subject in order to photograph well.” Mark connects to different individuals and tries to capture each person’s experience in his photographs. In a society that has a tendency to stereotype and create groups, it is especially important for Mark to demonstrate unique personalities in his work. Mark told me, “Many people believe the homeless all have the same story, but everyone has a separate, distinct and interesting story. Through the photography I want to honor each individual.” 

Mark appreciates the Gathering for the unique atmosphere it brings. By providing choice in meals and services as needed, the Gathering is able to individualize the experience for guests. Through this individualization and the respect and dignity the Gathering offers, we hope to be able to listen to and appreciate our guests’ stories and that, as Mark puts it, “is an amazing gift.”

Northwestern Mutual Volunteers

In a speech delivered at the Finney Chapel at Oberlin College in 1964, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “the time is always right to do what’s right.” On Monday, Jan. 21 we all remembered Dr. King on Martin Luther King (MLK) Day. Volunteers from Northwestern Mutual—sponsored by the African-American Employee Resources Group—answered Dr. King’s call to do what’s right: three different groups used their holiday time off to give back to their community through the Gathering.

Volunteers fill up orange juice for breakfast at St. James

One group prepared and served the Gathering’s breakfast meal, a second group participated in a deep cleaning of the Gathering’s downtown site, and the third group did a thorough cleaning of the Gathering’s South Side Site. Volunteers were seen filling cups with orange juice, buttering toast, serving chicken, greeting guests, scrubbing floors, walls, tables and more.

Volunteering as a family - scrubbing the Gathering's South Side site clean

The groups wore matching shirts explaining their mission: “MLK a day on, not a day off.” Laila, a returning volunteer with Northwestern Mutual tells us that volunteering on MLK day is significant because it is a reminder that, “no matter what the day is, even if it is a holiday, essential components of life go on.” For Tony, another returning volunteer, MLK day is particularly special as he was present when MLK’s monument was erected in DC:

“Seeing the big pillar of rock was a powerful visual; A reminder that it is important for all of us to help out when we can.”

The St. James MLK day breakfast serving crew

Besides, who knows, maybe we’ll end up having some fun along the way!

The South Side site's clean up crew having a good time

People that make The Gathering: Moses Cook

by Laura Luttrell

Moses Cook work as Security for the Gathering, but he was a guest first.

“I get up every morning whether I want to or not and I go down to the Gathering. I want to be there for anyone who needs me. There is no greater joy than to see them go in and come out and they're clean and they're doing well. They're happy. I don't judge them because to me everyone is going to start the race but everyone's not going to finish at the same time."

Moses Cook came to Milwaukee when he was 17. After his first daughter was born, he knew he was going to stick around. In some ways, he was happy with his life: he had a job making good money and he had two daughters, but he was also heavy into drugs and alcohol, causing major difficulties throughout his life. He lived this way for 20 years, until a near death experience caused him to reassess his life. He reflected about his friends who had died. He thought about how his family didn’t like being around him. He wanted out.

He quit his job and checked himself into the Rescue Mission shelter. He refused to let himself even step outside for a full 30 days. Moses didn’t want to go into a treatment center because “they keep you from the temptation” and he wanted to know he could keep himself from it. He experienced terrible withdrawal, but he made it through. He was on a new path.

Afterward, Moses returned to eating breakfasts and volunteering at the Gathering breakfast meal program. It was a place he found hope. Seeing his dedication, the Gathering offered him a job working security. Ten years have passed and Moses believes it is exactly where he needs to be. He views his role as much more than keeping everyone well-behaved; he understands the guests and wants to support them.

When Moses was still using, there was a woman from the Gathering, “Mama Jo,” who never gave up on him, no matter how badly he messed up. She told him to “dust yourself off and start again.” He listened.

Now Moses has taken up her position.  He does what he can to be a bright light in the lives he touches: “A word of encouragement to make them laugh... whatever it takes to put them in a happy spirit – because they may not get that any place else… if I can bring a little joy to their life, that little spark of joy may sustain them through the day and they have a good day.”

One day a guest came to Moses and gave him $400 and asked him to hold it so he wouldn’t be tempted to spend it on drugs. The guest said “I’m goin’ in [to drug rehab]. If you deem it necessary for my daughter or anyone to know where I am, you can tell them.” Moses recalled, “About nine months later, he came back, clean and engaged to be married. He was surprised I still had the money. I remember a day when a guy wouldn’t give me fifteen cents to hold for him. It made me feel so good this guy entrusted me, [with] what he was doing, and his money. That took me a long way... That was the biggest success for me.”

Moses is grateful for his life now. “Once you clean up, caring about people comes back,” he says. He has a good relationship with his family now. Moses said, “I will never lose my peace. I’m not going backward. It’s been over 15 years.” He wants to help others get to this point too. “If I got it, I give it because it was always given to me... You pass it on to the next that need it...If I can help one person a day, I’m good.” The way he sees it, “The meal is just a small part of the Gathering. It’s hope... worthiness... appreciation of the people. The Gathering never gave up on me… and here I am.”

People that make The Gathering: Cary Gibson

by Laura Luttrell

"I'm blessed with what I've got now. I thank God everyday. I mean when you're out there and then this! I feel like I’m living a movie star life – I’ve got heat, I’ve got a TV - I watched the Packers yesterday. I have food in my fridge. Everything I would want. You're real grateful, am I right?"

Imagine yourself without a home for 20 days. You’ve exhausted your options of staying with family and friends and now you are living on the street. I’ve tried to imagine this and I can’t. I don’t understand the challenges I would face. It’s easy to think about Milwaukee’s many blustery below freezing winter nights, but somehow finding a blanket doesn’t seem like enough.

When I spoke with Cary Gibson, the cook for the Gathering’s breakfast meal program, I started to understand. He lived on the street not for 20 days, but for 20 years. Cary said that in order to help keep warm, he would hide 3 blankets. The first one would inevitably be stolen while he was trying to sleep and then he would go to the hiding places of the others, hoping that at least one of them would still be there. He counted himself lucky if the thief only took his possessions. He has been attacked while trying to sleep many times… usually by another person coping with a situation similar to his; other times the attackers were four-legged threats.

By the railroad tracks, there are skunks to avoid. Elsewhere, you have to listen for and steer clear of coyotes. The hardest to deal with are the raccoons and other rodents.  They are smart and some have rabies.

They’ll climb all over you, especially if they smell food. Then, there are the domesticated varieties. People used to let loose their pit bulls along the river where Cary had been staying; he climbed into a thicket of thorns (where even the pit bulls wouldn’t go) to avoid them. With all this, a good night’s sleep isn’t an option. Then there is the challenge of hygiene. How can you bathe, shave, or brush your teeth? Cary said he had to wash different parts of his body each place he went - taking pigeon baths, he called it.

Cary had a hard life growing up, but he made the best of it. He tried to hold his family together by cooking, cleaning, and raising his younger siblings, but when he turned 17, he set out on his own. Although he struggled with alcoholism, he had a job and a place of his own for 14 years. That life ended when a bout of pneumonia put him in the hospital and he lost his job and eventually his home.

Living on the street, Cary really valued the big hot meal that the Gathering served in the mornings. He burned a lot of calories living outside. By the time he got there, he’d already walked 5 miles. He ate breakfasts at the Gathering for about 8 years and then he started volunteering. During that time, Cary also went into transitional housing and stopped drinking alcohol.

After 5 or 6 months of volunteering, the Gathering recognized the hard work and integrity that Cary exhibited and hired him as the breakfast cook. Having this part-time job has been an important motivator for Cary. He said that working again gives him a “sense of fulfillment...

There’s a certain feeling you get when you accomplish a goal like working – doing something positive, that’s what The Gathering is to me... The Gathering helps people in so many ways.

You can get a little direction – help with your problems, find the door to help you with what you need. That’s what’s special about the Gathering: it’s more than just the meal and some place warm.”

Cary has been in his own home for almost a year and now that he is back on his feet, he’s excited about the new road ahead of him. “The Gathering is just one of many steps I hope to take on my road to success.” He saved up two months rent to get ahead of schedule and he is excited to be paying rent and preparing taxes again!

There’s another thing about Cary that left me speechless. Imagine you were homeless for 20 years and after you finally got back in housing, you got a part-time job and you’ve been getting a paycheck for about 2 months. What would you do with this little extra money you have now? Get yourself something? Go to the casino? Cary started sponsoring a little girl in Indonesia. He’s been sponsoring her now for 10 months because he feels that there are a lot of people out there who need help.